


Drown in My Shallow Heart

by fanwit



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Assault, Character Turned Into Vampire, F/M, I don't know what else to tag, Infidelity, Minor Character Death, Possessive Behavior, Unhappy Ending, Unhealthy Relationships, depending at whose pov you look at it from
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 11:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19393591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanwit/pseuds/fanwit
Summary: Arthur Weasley becomes a vampire and copes badly.





	Drown in My Shallow Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Warning, this fic includes a lot of mentions to blood and a few character deaths, although not graphically described.  
> As always, here's my [Tumblr!](http://fanwit.tumblr.com) Here's my [tumblr post](https://fanwit.tumblr.com/post/185908701704/fanwit-drown-in-my-shallow-heart-a) (with a really neat aesthetic I made, if you ask)

“The Dark Lord has been upset recently,” Snape says in an Order meeting. “More Death Eaters have been dying.”

Sirius lets out a bark of laughter. “The only good Death Eater is a dead one!”

There’s a beat of silence. Some nod in agreement but Snape has a bit of a frown. It rapidly retreats into his blank expression.

Mad-Eye leans back in his chair. “Bit strange, don’t you think? All these sudden deaths?” Arthur watches the meeting proceed carefully and listens for any mention of Bellatrix.

Bellatrix is his only personal source in the Death Eaters. They share a mutual dislike of the Death Eaters. Bellatrix only likes the _Dark Lord_ and feels nobody else matches her standards of loyalty to him. That’s why it’s so easy for Bellatrix to pass along information of where her least favourite Death Eaters will be.

It’s also easy ensuring the deaths happen. It’s not as easy evading the Aurors or the rest of the Death Eaters. But it’s worth it. It has to be worth it. Arthur needs blood and the Death Eaters are the least guilt-inducing.

It had never been Bellatrix’s idea but Arthur lets her think it is. She says she’s doing this to weed out the weak but they both know Bellatrix isn’t doing this out of loyalty. She claims Arthur’s only doing this to not be killed but Arthur knows better. Bellatrix gets her Death Eaters killed and satisfaction she hasn’t gotten from her husband while, to her, all Arthur gets is to live. But what Arthur gets is so much more.

  
When Arthur returns from work, always late at night, Molly has dinner waiting. The food sits uncomfortably in his stomach but he thanks Molly anyway. It’s an empty gesture and they both know it.  


“You’ve been so distant lately,” Molly muses sadly. She stares blankly down at her chicken. “Ever since Percy left…”

"It's my fault, isn't it?" Arthur says. "Percy leaving?" Molly starts and drops her fork. She looks up at Arthur with wide eyes.

"No, of course not!" Molly shakes her head. "He made his own choice." And her eyes well up. Arthur thinks about Bellatrix and how she doesn’t cry so easily.

  
Once, when they were all young and stupid, Arthur blew smoke into Bellatrix’s face. She took a step back, blinking away tears and stifling her coughs, then slapped Arthur across the face. It _hurt_ , her nails were sharp. She huffed and stomped away to find her boyfriend. But Arthur didn’t feel guilty. It was her fault for being so annoying, right? For weeks after, Arthur said he got the scratches when he was helping Kettleburn out. Something, something, made him swell with pride whenever someone asked him about it.  


Sometimes, when Bellatrix and Arthur meet up, Bellatrix arrives late with bruises. Those days, Arthur's always tender and caring but Bellatrix doesn't seem to care what type of sex she gets. Arthur likes that. But every time they meet, she speaks of You-Know-Who constantly and Arthur doesn’t like that.

"You know-" Bellatrix says into the bedsheets, "the Dark Lord wouldn't be happy if he found out I slept with another man." There is no mention of how Arthur is a bloodtraitor. In return, Arthur doesn't bring up that You-Know-Who probably wouldn’t care. "God, imagine what he would do to me."

"Probably flog you," Arthur says and wonders where Bellatrix put the riding crop. That wouldn't be a bad idea. "We could roleplay, I think I've got the voice down this time."

Despite Bellatrix playing the bruises off as a normal thing, it’s a problem for Arthur. So he decides to solve it. Rodolphus Lestrange isn’t hard to follow, a bit careless actually. He goes out drinking every Thursday night with his brother and Greyback. Arthur makes sure to only follow from a distance but he can see Greyback sniffing the air every once in a while, almost as though he smells something off.

  
Arthur's known Molly since they were eleven. Like every child, they met on the Hogwarts Express and Molly pushed him over in pursuit of her older brothers. She never took any notice of him until fifth year when she asked him to Hogsmeade. Arthur never took any notice of her until she asked.  


Now, Bellatrix Black on the other hand. She had come bursting into Arthur's life when he was thirteen and insisted on him teaching her about the awful Muggles and their terrible ways. She wanted to know every detail, every famous person there was and never left Arthur alone. With her almost manic grin, Arthur found himself delving deeper into the Muggle library books just so he could answer her. When it turned to torture, it didn't take much to convince Arthur to do more research.

  
Greyback would be a difficult man to go up against. So Arthur has to go for the most powerful area, his nose. Naturally, Arthur approaches the only other werewolf he knows. He questions Lupin on if he’s done drugs before, gotten high, but Lupin is evasive. Luckily, Sirius Black is much more cooperative. He describes in detail a hilarious prank James and he had pulled where “Moony had gone limp and drooled all over himself, at first we thought he died but then he laughed and laughed and couldn’t stop laughing and begged for more!” Further prodding revealed the name of what they had used and that Lupin was out of it until around twenty minutes in when he couldn’t stop laughing.  


And so Arthur bribes the bartender to put a _minor headache potion_ into the Lestranges and Greyback’s drinks. One of the consequences of drinking at sketchy pubs, anybody can be bribed. It doesn’t take long for the Lestranges and Greyback to slump over. Greyback falls off his seat while Rabastan falls forwards onto the counter. Rodolphus collapses on top of Greyback.

The bartender groans. “Oi, take your pals and get moving! This ain’t good for my business!” Arthur has only two arms and quite frankly, Rabastan is very low on his list so it’s his lucky night. When Arthur approaches Greyback, Greyback lifts an arm and manages a weak hit onto Arthur’s leg. It's the most pathetic hit Arthur's gotten and he had fought Lucius Malfoy. Arthur grabs the two by their collars and drags them out of the bar. The bartender scowls at them.

  
As a Prewett, Molly was very much spoiled. If she wanted something, she got it. It's part of what drew Arthur in, the idea of him being wanted. Molly had _fought_ for him and it wouldn't be very nice for him to say no. Soon, Arthur found himself unable to say no to Molly. A late night stroll? Absolutely! Who cares if he got caned? A quick snog in the library? Sure thing! Who cares if they got kicked out of the library? Marriage? Why not?  


Sometimes Arthur wonders where he would be if he didn’t give in so easily. Would he have a different job? Would he be working in a morgue? Would he be an undertaker? Would he be doing something with Muggles? Or would he just end up in the Ministry like everybody else and still work in the Misuse office? It isn't very often he wonders, he finds it depressing. There's no point in thinking of what could be, he has to think of what _is_.

  
And what is right now, is Bellatrix holding onto Arthur.  


"I can't believe it!" she wails. "Greyback still hasn't come back!"

Arthur rubs her back soothingly and ignores the urge to bring his face to her neck. "Has Rabastan confessed yet?"

"No!" Bellatrix pushes off and sits back on the bed with a huff. She scrunches up her face. "God, can you believe him? The Dark Lord's been requesting he tell them the truth and he isn't!"

"What a bastard," Arthur agrees. "I mean, passing out at a pub and waking up to the both of them gone? No way that's true."

"Why wouldn’t they take him as well?" Bellatrix shakes her head and her curls flounces around. Arthur brings out a hand and strokes her hair slowly. Bellatrix leans into the touch.

"On the bright side, this frees me up to the Dark Lord."

Arthur grips and yanks Bellatrix down.

  
Arthur was thirteen when he started smoking. He started off with a Muggle brand but he would start coughing in class and nobody wanted to be near him. So he switched to Wizarding brands and kept switching brands until he could find _the one._ The perfect brand that didn't leave the stench of smoke all over and didn't make him cough, hack, rasp and wheeze. That's how Bellatrix found him, following the scent of smoke. She had held out a pack.  
  
Vampires have a much more sensitive sense of smell as compared to humans. Arthur doesn't like being able to smell his old cigarettes now. He can smell the smoking section on the fifth floor all the way from his office. They are three floors apart. He can tell the exact brand of drink Mad-Eye has in his flask, if someone's been near a barn that day, and where Molly went at exactly eleven in the night without telling him. Vampires also have a superior sense of hearing. Arthur can hear Molly's laughter from the Diggorys’ roof perfectly clear.  


Now, Amos Diggory is a good man. He has a wife and had a child. He was very much proud of that child and would never stop talking about how much better his child was in comparison to Arthur's kids. Arthur doesn't know how Molly stands to be around him. He can hear Amos boasting about his newest bed, how much more comfortable it must be compared to _their_ bed. He hears Amos' every insult of their house, of Arthur, and of his job. And through it all, Molly just laughs quietly.

  
"My father smokes this," Bellatrix had said simply. It was an unpleasant thought, smoking the same brand as a Pureblood supremacist. Arthur had taken the pack with no intention of trying it. Bellatrix had leaned in and sniffed. She made a face. "Disgusting."  


"Piss off."

"Can't smell my father's smoke."

"Okay, now leave."

"Is that Muggle or what? Only Muggles could make such a shit product."

"It's Wizard actually." Arthur had moved the cigarette along his hand then squeezed, putting it out. Bellatrix had watched with morbid fascination.

"Doesn't that hurt?"

"No."

Arthur still has burns all over his hands from putting out cigarettes. It had hurt at first but then finally it stopped and Bellatrix always poked and prodded at the burns, shaking her head.

  
Bellatrix rubs Arthur’s hand slowly. They're lying in bed, half dressed. Bellatrix rolls over and rests her head onto Arthur's chest.  


"Pretty fucked up Molly's doing that to you."

"Don't."

"Molly's definitely sleeping with Amos."

"Shut up." Arthur makes no attempt to get up or to intimidate her in any way.

"You think they do it in your bed?"

It's not comfortable enough for Amos. Nothing is good enough for Amos. Arthur's prepared to be there for the inevitable end of their relationship, for when Molly comes back with tears and is unable to explain to Arthur why she's crying. It's sad he's looking forward to Molly being hurt.

"Think he fucks her in your bed?"

"Like how I do in your husband's bed?"

"No, we switch things up. Molly's boring."

Arthur doesn’t argue.

  
Rodolphus's laughter had been fun to hear. The laughter slowly going higher and higher and more panicked but Rodolphus just couldn't stop laughing. Bellatrix finally sends Rabastan along Arthur's way and he is fun as well.  
  
"Having fun?"  


Percy stiffens, gripping his folders of parchment. He doesn't look over to Arthur.

Arthur presses the button for the floor he’s headed to. "Your mother misses you."

"I'm aware."

"You should come home," Arthur says. "Things have been falling apart since you left."

"And I should care, why?" Then Percy scoffs. "Nobody liked me anyway."

"That's not true."

The doors open to the third floor but nobody gets on or off. The doors close, the lift’s realised nobody’s there. Something Arthur and Percy always had in common: an early start to the work day.

They had so much in common. It hurts to think of Percy away from home. Arthur wants him back, back at home with his stories of his girlfriend or whatever his boss did or his newest assignment and how it was the most important thing in the world. But Percy had destroyed everything the moment he shouted at Arthur. The moment he had sneered and repeated all the terrible things Arthur's been hearing his entire life. Arthur's fists tighten. Anger rises inside him.

Percy speaks again. "You never helped me." He adjusts the way he's holding his folders. "You never did anything for me."

It's the fifth floor already. Arthur looks over to Percy who isn't looking back. He's staring straight ahead still.

Arthur sighs. "Bye."

"Don't talk to me again."

And Arthur enters his world once again, away from Percy's world.

  
Arthur comes back home from work and he hears rustling in his bedroom. Instead of announcing his arrival, he sneaks into the kitchen and 1up the stairs. There's giggling then an _Oh, Amos!_ Arthur's at the doorknob and he glares at the door. Then he takes a deep breath. He needs to look as calm as possible. As friendly as possible and as stupid as possible. He opens the door.  
  
"I never really took you as the murdering sort," Bellatrix says one evening while Arthur's unrolling a condom. She leans in to sniff Arthur but lies back with a disappointed expression.  


“No blood?” Arthur picks up the lube. “Want me to smell like murder?”

"Figures you’d turn out to be a serial killer.”

Arthur laughs quietly. A serial killer. That was a nice label. "Yeah, I'm pretty much Hebert Varney."

Bellatrix looks at him confusedly. "Wasn't he a vampire?"

  
Whenever Arthur's in his office, Perkins goes to work in the lounge officially for Aurors but unofficially for anybody who wanted some alone time. He asked Perkins about it once and Perkins just shook his head.  


One time Perkins gets up once again and Arthur grabs his wrist. "Where you going?" he asks.

"You know where I'm going."

Arthur frowns and tightens his grip. Perkins gasps and begins trying to pull away.

"The lounge again?" Arthur asks.

"Let go!" 

"Why?"

Perkins yanks his arm out and rubs at his wrist. Arthur continues staring at Perkins, waiting.

"You're acting weird now," Perkins says. "Ever since you had that argument with Percy..."

Perkins had rather nasty bruises around his wrist for a month after that. They never talk about it. They don’t talk much anymore.

  
As a Black, Bellatrix was very much spoiled. If she wanted something, she got it. If she wanted to know all about Muggles, then she was going to find out everything. If she wanted Arthur to kiss her slowly or throw her against the wall, then she was getting it. If she wanted anybody dead, then they were going to die.  


"Severus Snape."

"What?" Arthur pulls down his robes and turn to look at Bellatrix. Bellatrix's lazing on the couch, still not dressed. She sighs.

"Snape. He's annoying and I think he's a traitor."

"He's the Potions professor though."

"So?"

"He's better than Slughorn," Arthur says. Bellatrix groans and covers her eyes. Speaking of which, he probably should pay Slughorn a visit.

"Just do something about Snape!"

  
Finally, finally, Amos stops smelling like Molly. And that is when Arthur makes his move. Amos disappears first. He doesn’t brag about anything but just begs for mercy. He shouldn’t have touched what was Arthur’s. Molly cries when Arthur comes for her.  


The Order meetings are much quieter now and more sober. It's not the same without Molly insisting on feeding them. Sirius looks much better, more stable, without his and Molly’s constant bickering. But even he seems glum at the thought of Molly not stopping by. Shacklebolt keeps Arthur updated on the search for Molly but Arthur can tell he doesn't think she'll be found. Arthur plays the role of a grieving husband well. It isn't hard, just sit there and stare off blankly like he can’t imagine life without his wife. Mad-Eye pats him on the shoulder more often now.

After a meeting, Arthur leads Snape down the hall and to a balcony.

“Nice view, don’t you think?” Arthur asks. Snape shrugs and looks down at the abandoned garden. “I wanted to talk to you alone.”

And so he tells Snape of his concerns about Potions and his kids. Snape leans against the railing, nodding slowly. It’s only when Arthur brings up the twins that Snape looks up.

“Their pranks,” Snape spits out. He's hanging carelessly on the railing, one push would be all it needed. They discuss the pranks and they agree the twins do take it a bit far. Arthur steps closer to Snape.

One little push.

Arthur reaches out for Snape. Snape eyes him disapprovingly. 

Arthur has his hand on Snape now. But he reaches into a pocket and pulls out Snape's pack of cigarettes.

“My old brand is much better than what you’re smoking.”

“Is it?” Snape nods boredly through Arthur's insistence it's a much superior brand to whatever he's smoking right now.

  
Arthur gets less and less updates from Bellatrix about the Death Eaters. He doesn't get any Death Eaters to go after anymore. Bellatrix says it's punishment for not killing Snape. It isn't _fair_. Arthur shouldn't be in trouble for one little thing. He did _everything_ for Bellatrix.  


Shacklebolt doesn't come around to update Arthur on Molly either. At meetings, Shacklebolt shifts guiltily and stares down at the table whenever Arthur sits next to him. At the end of every meeting, Mad-Eye asks if Arthur wants to go out for drinks. He never extends the offer for anyone else. Every time, Arthur says no. He can't get drunk anymore and there was no pleasure in it.

But eventually, Bellatrix comes around. She gives Arthur Lucius Malfoy. And that was very satisfying, to see the fear in his eyes. 

  
"Late night?"  


Percy starts and spins around. "You!"

"Me." Arthur walks over to Percy's desk. The lights are off but he can still see Percy's anger. Perks of having night vision, he supposes.

"What are you doing here?"

"I can't drop by and say hello to my son?"

"No!" Percy stands up, slamming his hands on the desk. "Just leave now."

"What if I wanted to apologise?"

Percy snorts. "We both know you're not doing that. You've never been that good of a man."

Arthur puts his hands on Percy's desk as well. He's much taller than Percy but Percy doesn't step back. "You should come home. Your mother missed you."

"And you don't?" Percy shakes his head. "I don't care what they think of me. They never liked me anyway."

"You're my son," Arthur says. There's a beat. "I miss you." The words sit there for a moment. Percy leans back. "I didn't see you at the funeral."

"I didn't go."

"Your mother would've wanted you to."

"You're not the same."

"What do you mean?"

"You're worse now." Percy glares at Arthur and picks up a folder. He steps around his desk and looks up at Arthur. "Don't talk to me again."

Percy's _his_ son. Percy shouldn't be talking to him like this.

Percy steps away but Arthur's already reaching out. He grabs Percy's wrist and Percy's eyes are wide. There's fear just like Malfoy.

"Let me go!" Percy struggles against Arthur's grip.

"No," Arthur snaps. "You have to come home, we miss you."

Percy smacks Arthur's wrist hard enough for Arthur to let go and he stumbles backwards. His wrist's bothering him, Arthur can tell. Percy grips his folder. Then he runs.

Arthur lets him. Why had he done that to his kid? But there's a sense of something in his chest. And he remembers how it had felt to kill Molly.

  
Bellatrix mopes around the bedroom more often. “Cissy still won’t talk to me! She’s convinced I had something to do with Malfoy’s disappearance!”  


“Maybe you shouldn’t have had him killed,” Arthur replies. He holds out his hands for Bellatrix to take. But instead she flounces onto the bed and groans.

“I didn’t think there’d be consequences!”

  
Ginny helps Arthur pack up the Burrow. He hadn't explained why he was moving but everyone seemed supportive. Percy doesn't come to pack up his room so Arthur does it. He throws out nothing.  


Mad-Eye visits him once, at the Leaky Cauldron, and asks when Arthur intends to move into a flat. Arthur just shrugs and so Mad-Eye offers to help him look for a flat. Mad-Eye claims he needs to feel useful with all the Aurors not needing his help.

  
“Did you notice Percy had a cast on his wrist?” Perkins asks Arthur.  


“Hmm?” Arthur looks up from his paperwork. “No, I didn’t. Haven’t seen him in a while.”

Perkins frowns. “I wonder what happened.”

“Did he tell you if it was broken?”

“Didn’t say anything to me.” Perkins heads for the door. “Although I’d bet it was broken. Probably bad bruises too.” He looks at Arthur suspiciously.

“I would never!” Arthur grips his quill. “I wouldn’t…”

“Yeah,” Perkins says. “I thought so too.” The unspoken _until_ stifles the air. Perkins shakes his head and leaves. Arthur looks back down at his paperwork. His life’s falling apart. If someone had asked him how life was going, back at the Quidditch World Cup before the game, he would’ve said everything was perfect.

  
One thing that’s perfect in Arthur’s life is Bellatrix Black. She is perfect in every way. She no longer has bruises and she has a spark in her eyes. Her laugh is wonderful. The way she pushes and pushes makes Arthur feel _right_. It’s been hard to feel right since he’s become a vampire.  


He kisses too hard and squeezes tightly and where Molly would’ve complained Bellatrix only squeals and loves. She doesn’t bring up Muggles or any of her wrong beliefs. In return, Arthur reads to her slowly, out of the Muggle books she had loved back in the day. Bellatrix giggles at the wrong bits and huffs when everybody lives in the end. At the very end of the books are when she starts talking about her Dark Lord and Arthur stops her with a kiss. She’s _his_ , and they are perfect together.

  
The exact day it all goes wrong is the day Bellatrix and Arthur were supposed to meet up at his new flat. He is out with Mad-Eye and some other Aurors. They're on a case and Arthur only comes along because there were rumours of Muggle objects being bewitched. They all split up, keeping a steady pace of conversation, searching the perimeter for the suspect. Then Mad-Eye stops responding to their conversation and they grow concerned. And the Death Eaters show up and take them.  


Arthur's on his knees looking up at You-Know-Who. Nagini is there and Arthur feels fear pooling in his stomach. 

"Take the weakest one," You-Know-Who hisses and everybody looks at Arthur. Mad-Eye's eye is wide with concern, his glass eye's gone, and Arthur closes his eyes.

"Wait, wait, no, take me instead," Mad-Eye's saying panickedly as Arthur feels hands around his arms. He's yanked up and he stumbles as they drag him towards You-Know-Who. He hears the Aurors shouting and keeps his eyes closed.

"Weasley, isn't it?" You-Know-Who sounds amused. "They seem fond of you." Arthur keeps his mouth shut.

"Oh, they are!" Bellatrix coos. Arthur can imagine her getting closer to You-Know-Who with the same look she gets whenever Arthur roleplays. God. "Aww, you should hit him with a few _Crucio!_ "

And Arthur falls back, with a searing pain through his entire body. He hears screaming. Then the curse stops.

"Weasley..." You-Know-Who sounds smug. Of course he is. If Arthur broke this easily already, then he's definitely confessing everything. Arthur takes a deep breath. "I heard about your wife."

If You-Know-Who is expecting anger from Arthur, then he's wrong. Arthur climbs back up to his knees. He keeps his eyes firmly shut and he hears Bellatrix panting heavily. She lets out a crackle.

"Your wife stooped so _low_ , god, marrying you?" Bellatrix laughs even louder. "She probably thought you had money!"

He hears some swears from the Aurors then they go silent. A silencing spell or possibly gags. Arthur doesn't look back.

"And then _Amos_..."

You-Know-Who cuts in impatiently. "Weasley, tell us, where is Harry Potter?"

"At Hogwarts, where else would he be?" Arthur snaps.

"Crucio!"

This is shorter than the last one. Panting, Arthur scrambles back up to his knees. "Ah, come on, that was true!"

The next Crucio is not short.

It's only on the tenth Crucio they finally drag the Aurors out.

"There's no need to show off anymore," You-Know-Who sneers. "No impressing your precious Aurors this time."

Arthur opens his eyes and looks around. Bellatrix is gone, she went with the Aurors. There's just You-Know-Who, Nagini, and two Death Eaters.

"Yes, they're gone." You-Know-Who looks amused. "The Aurors aren't watching you anymore."

Arthur stands up on shaky legs. He takes a deep breath.

"Are you going to try to fight me?" You-Know-Who laughs. It's a high-pitched laugh, just like Rodolphus's last laugh. Arthur smiles a tight-lipped smile.

"Yeah." Arthur jumps and aims for You-Know-Who's neck.

Killing curses do not work on vampires. This is an excellent perk, Arthur decides, as the other two Death Eaters are screaming. Arthur lifts his head from You-Know-Who's neck and grabs a wand. He ties the Death Eaters up and pulls Nagini off him. He puts Nagini in a cage then turns back to You-Know-Who. He doesn't taste good and Arthur's disappointed.

It's easy, sucking Nagini’s and the Death Eaters' blood. It's just as easy to put up a glamour to convince the rest of the Death Eaters to enter with no worries. It's only when the last one finally enters that it becomes hard. Bellatrix closes the door behind her and the glamour falls. Her eyes go wide at the sight of her Dark Lord. She screams.

"You killed him! You killed-"

Arthur grabs her and bring her in close. Bellatrix looks at his mouth fearfully.

"God, you're a-"

Arthur pushes his face into Bellatrix's neck.

" _Mine_ ," he hisses. "You're mine."

He licks her neck slowly and all the way up to her mouth. Bellatrix shudders. Arthur grips You-Know-Who's wand and kisses her ferociously. She doesn't return the kiss.

Arthur tightens his grip on her and lets out a harsh laugh.

"Nobody's going to look for you."

"Arthur-"

"You're all mine, to keep forever."

And they Apparate away.


End file.
